The Cricket Stock Exchange

The Cricket Stock Exchange
Thursday, April 1st, 2010

The Cricket Stock Exchange was inaugurated today to the public amid grand festivities and extravagance. "It is the first ever stock exchange in the history of humankind to allow commoners to invest and trade stocks of sportsmen and watch their bank balances soar like the shiny cricket ball blessed by the Midas touch of Sachin's Willow", chirped Sharad Pawar, President of CSE, wiith his master matador Lalit Modi standing tall beside him. Although there's a lot of speculation around whether people are ready to put their money on the pitch, it is likely to emerge as a strong investment option considering the recent recession in the APAC markets and the long billowing US economy.

Would I, an average salaried class employee, toss my hard-earned Gandhi imprints into this roulette? What are the chances that I'll get to see the Mahatmas back? It turns out that my worries are as confirmed or as unfounded as are chances of India winning the next 5 ODI's against any cricketing nation. At the same time, Sharad and Lalit are Laloo Yadavs when it comes to milking a cow, and it seems that their milch cow has birthed another milch cow almost overnight -- so its easy to figure where the bulls have decided to make their harem: the CSE of course. But the bears, you fear? Well the bears were last seen rummaging through the beehive-infested, and eerily deserted Wall Streets and Dalal Streets of our round planet, which by the way, will soon adorn the looks of a cricket ball-like moneyspinner.

So who're you and what going to trade? CSE wants to play a defensive stroke for now, while promising lofty sixers for the future. It currently provides vanilla segments familiar to investors. The first one is for the long-term investors, your large-cap market -- the ICC Top 40 Cricketers Index (CRIX), the stalwarts who have proved their worth in all forms of the game. The mid-cap segment offers you the confident, promising, delivering youngsters who're poised to adorn the halls of fame tomorrow. As for the small caps, you have the dark horses who've outshone their celebrated comrades at times, but their brilliance is confined to a single form of the game. Then of course, you have an array of mutual funds whose NFOs are coming up round the corner but the ICC is yet to come up with any tax relief schemes with these funds. Hedge funds are still being mooted, says Lalit Modi, who is quick to reiterate the open market advantages of the CSE.

So when do you buy and sell stocks on the CSE? Well, consider these headlines and brace yourself in the pads of an avid investor to get the drift: "Yuvraj fit for the next Aussie Series, promises 5 centuries", "Bhajji and Symonds to star in Spielberg's Bollywood debut", "Steyn pulls a hamstring, unfit for the hyped matchup against Ishant"...

Only time will tell whether CSE will bring the smile back on billions of investors across the globe. Until then, stay vested!